Does this story opening grab your attention?

I would keep reading, but it doesn't reach out and grab me. I'd probably keep reading to learn more, but if the writing is the same throughout then I'd stop before I get to the THE END. I've seen worse writing here, but I'm not saying yours is great, either. Like another person said, you write pively. That will kill your writing. I suggest you search showing vs telling and try to implement it in your writing. Your first sentence is pive. There's room for some pive voice in novels, so it shouldn't be completely removed from your writing, but you need less pive and more active voice overall.