Divorce and my rights? Does she get paid cause I have a mental disorder?

Well here goes. I have been married 4 years in June. Out of those 4 years I deployed 25 months all together. Over both deployments she moved back to Oklahoma with our two children. It was both of our decision as was both our decision for her not to have employment, due to costs of childcare. We agreed on this. I always told her it was her decision. After my first deployment, I came home, and got into it with alcohol. I seeked help from a military source. Our marraige was steadily in turmoil due to her abusive and destructive temper tantrums and rage issues. After I deployed again, it became obvious to me as well as our friends and family, that she was going to go to the bars, drink, and party every chance she got. That caused countless problems and fights when I would call home to find she was out and the kids was with a sitter. I was furious, it was almost nightly. Then rumors of infidelity arose. I was being told by numerous sources both trusted and a little shady, that she had been permiscuous, and had cheated on more than one occasion. With 14 months of me trying to tell her that it is excessive and that a wife and mother should not behave this way, I lost all trust in her. Almost every conversation was about who she was with and what she was doing. Upon my redeployment home, the home became a house full of eggshells. I couldnt hardly talk to her without her blowing up on me and fighting about everything. She drank, and fights would become physical. She has been witnessed by friends and family of the outbreaks of rage and her destructive behavior. One night it became severe. We fought, she threw punches, and held her down, and tried to just get my things and leave. She followed me out the door with a knife. I disarmed her called the cops, and she was charged with 4 degree domestic ault. They left the knife out of the police report because I didnt want her charged with a felony. I bailed her out, we talked and came to the conclusion to get counseling. We argued a little here and there but not so bad. She had been ordered to take domestic violence cles, and had probation for 2 years. A close friend of hers died back in OK, so naturally she wanted to go back to the funeral. We have one vehicle, so I coordinated to get a ride to work until the end of the week. Her and the kids went back to OK. A day later in she allowed her anger to resurface and got into an altercation with her 17 year old sister in law. She was arrested and charged with domestic ault, in which she has pleaded not guilty. I was furious. I was left without a vehicle and my stepson was missing school. I told her I was coming to get the car and the kids. She agreed to allow my stepson to come back with me, along with our daughter. That was on march 16th. She has been bar hopping, doing drugs, and yet some more rumors of infidelity have surfaced. there has not been a conversation on the phone we have not fought and threatened divorce. I have had the kids on my own, in the military, a 5 yr old stepson, and 2 year old daughter. She has missed her court date here, as well as her cles. She has a warrant out for failure to appear, and violating her probation. Her court date in OK is July 8th. Well I have recently had been talking to a counselor that has talked about me having PTSD. Not a severe case, although in a divorce case she plans to use my PTSD(unconfirmed), distrust, and alcoholism(first deployment) as grounds for getting everything, the kids the car alimony and all that. I cant afford an attorney unless the are pro bono and the military laywers dont help with divorces. I dont know what to do!!!! I need answers...